


unsteady (don’t let go)

by sora_grey



Category: The Dark Artifices Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Inspired by Music, M/M, POV Male Character, Poetry, Rare Fandoms, Spoilers for Book 2: Lord of Shadows, and also some free verse poems, i sure as hell don’t know, if kit herondale wrote poetry this is what it’d probably look like, partially inspired by a series of tumblr posts, this is just a mess of words, what even is this?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-11-08 21:36:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20842391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sora_grey/pseuds/sora_grey
Summary: What Kit was probably thinking the morning after that disastrous trip to the London Shadow Market.





	unsteady (don’t let go)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Kit's Secret Fire Message](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23391574) by [Alma_Herondale](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alma_Herondale/pseuds/Alma_Herondale). 

> This poem was inspired by the following, in no particular order:
> 
> 1\. [this song](https://youtube.com/watch?v=V0lw3qylVfY), because the lines _hold on to me, 'cause I’m a little unsteady_ and _if you love me, don’t let go_ made me think of Ty Blackthorn, even though the rest of the lyrics don’t fit in with the contents of my poem.
> 
> 2\. _that scene on the roof!!!_
> 
> 3\. the poems from alma-berry’s _KSFM_ posts, which is currently at [19](https://alma-berry.tumblr.com/post/188000293484/kits-secret-fire-message-19). Please read them, as well as the fic that accompanies it, they’re both amazing!

* * *

The morning after,  
I find you on the roof  
slumped down in defeat.  
You’re ghostly pale  
and dark shadows  
hide in silver eyes,  
your sleepless night  
on full display.

Your headphones,  
which were always  
around your neck,  
were nowhere in sight.  
I was worried  
because they’re your shield  
from the outside world.

This was your inner anguish,  
your private hell.  
God, I was never meant to see  
this version of you.

Oh, how I wish  
I could take back  
the trauma you endured  
and erase the wreckage  
from your lovely features.

I’m sorry, Ty.  
I’m so sorry.  
I never wanted that to happen.  
I never meant to cause you pain.

With careful steps  
I walk towards you,  
my pale pretty bird,  
lest you fly off  
and nest somewhere else.

But I keep my distance,  
unsure if my presence  
would be welcoming  
or just add unwanted stress.

Your mouth forms  
the shape of my name  
as I approach  
and you sigh in relief.

You know who I am  
and I take it  
as a good sign.

But I’m not Livvy, Ty,  
and we both know it.  
It’s always been you and her  
against the world.  


You don’t need me here.

Your hands were fluttering madly,  
like pale birds in flight.  
They soon make their descent  
to my soft blue sweater  
and become a safe perch  
for your restless fingers.

Do I dare  
hold on to you  
when I know  
I’m not the one  
you want by your side?

I don’t think—  
I just pull you in  
and you hold on  
as tight as you can.

Your body is tense  
and wild and unpredictable,  
an arrow at its breaking point.  
Only my embrace  
kept you from flying off-course.

I take in the scent  
of ink and wool,  
hear your shaky breaths  
in my ear,  
feel the uneven rhythm  
of your heart  
racing under mine.

_Glass, twin, apple, whisper,  
stars, crystal, shadow, lilt._

I say your favorite words  
back to you to  
calm your anxious mind.

In early morning’s light,  
awash in London fog,  
I hold you close.  
Here, you find shelter  
in my arms.


End file.
